I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
