Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize