bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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