KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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