I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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