Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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