I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
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I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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