if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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