Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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