please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
