I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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