but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
