This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize