I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize