I think I died a long time ago.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
