Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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