remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
