I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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