we have officially lost it.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
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Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
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Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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