worst night to have a conscience
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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