omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
im holly from the hills drunk
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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