Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
