so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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