I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
