If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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