Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
