Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
