Yo dont text me then not text me
Buhtt sex?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize