I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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