as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
