Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
