Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
