If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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