puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
