last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
