Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
