Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
