TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize