There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
