I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
