My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
