Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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