It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
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Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
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Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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