just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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