Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
