Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
