I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
