Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
