you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
