Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
