Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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