Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize