You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
