hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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