Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
