I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize