i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
