when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
