tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
