I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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