I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
