So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
