Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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